I Was Rescued
by Hetaliancupcake
Summary: (A prequel type fic of my story Rescue Me. So read that before this one.) Mathias's explanation of life before Lukas. His own trauma and his own pained past. Plus, his motivations for being so fascinated with Lukas. It is T for language and slight implications to abuse. There will be three chapters in total. Hopefully, you all enjoy! (DenNor)
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: So, a quick note before you read this. If you've already read the fic of mine called Rescue Me, then read on I hope you enjoy. But if not, this is a prequel type thing about Mathias's past trauma and his motivations for bothering Lukas. So I'd recommend reading that first. After that, feel free to read! There is implied mention of abuse in this. No descriptions really though. So hopefully no triggering material here. Thanks for reading and I will upload the next few chapters soon. :3 ~Hetaliancupcake**

 _~I Was Rescued~_

 ** _{Chapter One}_**

She was my first love. But she wasn't my soulmate. At the time I might of thought so. But she had so many problems, and she wouldn't change. Yet I continued to stay, hoping someone, anyone would pull me out of the toxic quicksand. But for a while, I wasn't sure rescue was ever coming, and I had given up on saving myself. I had believed I was incapable of saving myself. Because I really did love her.

Even when she left me with scars.

Emotional ones mostly.

She wasn't crazy, as much as I screamed that at her. She was mentally ill. And she refused her own rescue dragging me down into the sand with her.

In the beginning, just when I thought I'd gotten out, she pulled on my leg, and back in again I fell.

((()))

I sighed pulling on my coat. We had met at college, me and Nora. She seemed so kind back then, but lately all I got was blank stares, and volatile screams.

"Where are y-you going?" Her voice came, pitiful and almost scared.

"Out." I answered curtly. I just needed to get away. Her saccharine shtick was starting to drive me nuts. And especially since I wasn't even sure you could call it that. It was sincere, but it could change in a moment.

Her hand gently wrapped around my arm.

"I am s-so sorry. Promise me you won't leave and never come back. I can't lose you like I'm losing myself." I should've asked why she wouldn't seek help, but instead I felt a twinge of pain strike my heart and a sigh escape my lips. She had reeled me back into our apartment.

After college we had moved in together, she was so perfect. I thought I knew everything about my honey. But I had barely scratched under the surface. I love her. I love her even now. But I had to leave.

((()))

"Fine! Leave then, asshole! All you do is eat fucking food, and write about it! What fucking life is that anyway?! I don't need you, I'm not crazy, and I have no reason to seek help. You need help. You're the one who's crazy!" Nora screeched.

I had just come back from work. I had asked her how her day went. She had told me she was fired for an outburst. That a fellow employee had called her crazy. All I did was sigh, and she lunged at my throat with her claws. I had been with her for a year, and she had already broken my heart again. When she promised she was sorry, I believed her again and again. Tonight was worse than most.

"Nora, clam down, please! I love you, If I upset you I'm sorry. Please calm down."

"NO! You are calling me crazy too, aren't you?"

"No, honey I didn't say that, i-it's just that you are screaming, you need to calm down. "

*whapshh*

She had smacked me. She was the angriest I've probably seen her. Flames might as well have been spewing out her fingertips. I held my cheek as she stepped back.

"D-do you wanna know why I was upset at work, you asshole? You're cheating on me, you worthless shit. I know you are! I found these, and they sure as hell aren't mine!" She held up a pair of underwear she had bought just last week. I breathed heavily, unsure whether to scream or cry. She always was so accusing. But this...

"Honey," I began gingerly, "I swear I'm not. You bought those last week, those are yours!" Her eyes widened and she let out an angry sob.

"Stop it! Stop trying to trick me, I would know that these are mine! You're so horrible, how could you do this to me? How..." She punched me a couple times really hard in the chest and then slumped down against the wall crying. I stayed silent a moment feeling his stomach for bruising. I didn't know what to do. I couldnt fix her short term memory loss. Or her extreme paranoia. There were people for that, and I wasn't one of them.

"Nora, I promise... if you just talk with a doctor about treatment, or see a therapist I'm sure we can get through this." I paused and walked past her. "You can't keep accusing me and then expect me to stay here. I just want you to feel better." Her sobs grew quiet for a moment as she yelled.

"I'd be fine if it weren't for you! You're ruining my life! I loved you!" Loved. My heart shattered, scattering over the apartment floor at that moment. I went upstairs and locked myself in our bedroom. I calmly began packing my stuff. I'd go to Tino's where I could calm down. I tried hard to hold back my pained sobs. I opened the door and she stood there wiping her tears.

She looked to my bag and then grabbed my arm gently.

"Please, don't leave me. Don't go. I'm sorry... I love you. I need you." Her look was pitiful and she meant it, I knew that.

I cupped her cheeks in my hands and took a shaky breath.

"Nora. You need some space. I need to cool off too. I'm going to stay at Tino's place for a while. Think about what you want in life. Think about helping yourself. Trying to help you is killing me, killing us. Think about seeing someone. When you decide to, call me. I'll be there in a heartbeat." I planted a kiss on her nose, as tears fell from her eyes.

She let go of my arm with a sad, and empty look. I left and I didn't look back. I felt so... numb.


	2. Chapter 2

_~I Was Rescued~_

 ** _{Chapter Two}_**

((()))

Tino was the leader of my rescue party. We had met in college, and he had grown to be one of my best friends. He was there for me through the worst in my life. When I left for the final time he set rules for me so I wouldn't go crawling back to more pain. He never wanted me to leave her entirely. He only wished to be the temporary divider between me and her until she received some help. But she continuously refused.

Overall he was right. If I went back while she was still in denial I'd feel more pain. But I still felt so guilty. I just wanted her to have motivation to help herself not force her into a pit of devastation.

((()))

"I'm doing great actually. I still haven't seeked help. But I have another job. And I'm trying to pull myself together first. I'm happy for the most part." Nora said through the phone. I sighed a little breath of relief at the time.

"Honey, that sounds great. I'm waiting for you to get help. It hurts to see you like that. But, I love you. Keep your positivity alright?" I replied to her weekly update. It had been a month already. She chuckled.

"All right. Just wait a little while longer, okay. I promise I'll make you proud." The eighth call ended there.

((()))

Half a year came in no time. I had started to become an established local food critic by then. I met her once at lunch, when she told me that she hoped we could just be friends. If she mustered up the courage to get help she'd try our relationship again. That day seemed too surreal for me. I felt numb. I told her it was up to her, and that if it was what she wanted I'd wait for her. She seemed happier without me. She called less and less. I had to question: was I the problem? Surely it wasn't me that made her like that. I had stood by her faithfully. So why did she seem fine without me? A month later I received the last call I ever got from her. It sent me into a shit-storm of emotions.

((()))

"Matthias, I can't live like this anymore, this lie... I'm alone with my cowardice. I can't go through with treatment, and I can't stop thinking about you. I can't live without you, oh god...I can't. I-I love you... so much." I only got the message.

I had missed the call.

When I realized what was happening, I asked Tino to drive me to our apartment but it was too late. She was already gone. So much love within me that day died. I decided I no longer wanted to deal with so much pain. I regret it now, but then I assumed the best thing to do was to hide away in the guest room. Stay there for hours. Sleep. For hours. I didn't eat much. Tino and his boyfriend were the only shining lights left for me, and they didn't seem to glow quite as brightly as before.

((()))

"Mathias... can I come in please?" I sighed and sluggishly wandered over to the door to unlock it.

"Sure." I murmured. "Mathias. Sit here with me please. The local restaurant was asking about that review, and called to reschedule a date for it. Since you missed it. " I glanced up forlornly searching Tino's soft eyes.

"What did you say to them?"

"That you were in a slump right now. And you'd do it as soon as you could. " I sighed, finding it hard to even be mad at Tino.

"I'm sorry. I'm so useless." I muttered. Tino grabbed my arm and squeezed it tight.

"If you sit there in bed all day, you will be. I'm not asking you to go make friends. I'm asking you to at least bring in enough to support the rest rent, or we'll all lose this apartment. I'm asking you to do something to feel better, not wallow in despair. You can't blame yourself for getting yourself out of there. What use would it be for two people to jump into a volcano?"

"So you don't have to watch the other one jump."

"Mathias...she loved you. But she couldn't love herself enough. And she knew you loved her. That's not the problem. She couldn't save herself. No one could save her, she wasn't willing, and she was only breaking you down in the process." Tino responded, and sighed. "Maybe you could try a hobby? Something to pull you out of this funk. I know there is a big heart in there. Maybe you could try to help those like her or like you, who can be saved. Or seek someone else to talk to. The review is tomorrow. Please go."

"Thanks Tino. I'm sorry you have to help me."

"I'll always be here for you. Don't worry, Mathias." With a smile he left me with so many thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

_~I Was Rescued~_

 ** _{Chapter Three}_**

((()))

I felt guilty that night, but I realized something that next day.

I got up. I showered, got dressed, and I headed for the restaurant, looking quite spiffy. The restaurant owner seemed a bit off, but the food was delicious and the coffee was quality. A young man caught my eye. He got yelled at many times while I was there. But instead of crying or pleading, he looked him in the eyes with intense hatred, or looked away entirely, frozen with fear. I knew that look as I had seen it on my own face when I looked in the mirror. It made me feel as though I could talk to him.

I know that sounds odd, but it's true. I felt I'd never have the courage too, though.

But that day I discovered two things. My new favorite restaurant, and my future mission.

I had found some motivation to do something special. Tino was pleased that I wanted ro help people and helped me start a small local help group for those who needed help. Advice, a simple chat. Whatever they needed that they couldn't get somewhere else.

I stopped showing up at that restaurant for a while as it got so busy with some of the people I helped. But of all the calls and emails and visits I held I never saw him. It bugged me. When things slowed down a bit I returned for a cup of coffee at the restaurant. It might've been wrong to assume that he had a serious problem, but in most cases my intuition was right. He wasn't there that day.

((()))

"Hello again Mathias. How's my favorite customer? You ready to order?" The owner asked me. I smiled and gave the answer of coffee and questions. "Alright. What do you want to ask then?"

"I was just wondering where that boy was today. The one with the short, light hair? And the blue eyes."

"Oh well. That's my nephew, Lukas. He was sick today. I let him rest." He answered. Something about him felt off.

"Well I hope he recovers soon." I responded.

"Thank you. Your coffee will be right out."

After that I came in everyday for coffee, but he didn't show up again for two weeks. He came out early that morning with an angrier expression than usual.

"Can I get you something?" The sass from Lukas was off the charts.

"Just some coffee. Lukas, was it? How are you feeling?" He paused and glanced around.

"I-I don't see why you care... but I'm fine."

"I only ask since you've been gone for two weeks."

"I just didn't feel like working."

"Because you were sick?" He paused, and his eyes widened a little.

"Umm... yeah. Sick. But I'm fine now." He murmured. I just smiled and watched him get my coffee. "Enjoy..."

"Wait! Why don't you sit down and join me. Take a break. After all you just got back to work from being pretty sick." He glared at me.

"I'm not on break, and you're nosy. I don't need one." He shifted back to the defensive and looked off emotionlessly to the floor.

"Alright, maybe when you're feeling better." Lukas's face flushed and he turned away in a huff.

"I just won't serve you then." I smiled.

His answer and his uncle's were conflicting. The ease with how he accepted the other option was familiar. A young boy some time ago had the same demeanor, and ease of acceptance. His eyes screamed out what he could not. I knew there had been something up the moment I saw him. Let's just say I was especially determined to figure him out.

((()))

"Excuse me, I'd like to request your nephew to be my waiter. He is great at service, and so polite." The owner raised an eyebrow, but didn't question me on that statement.

"Of course, I'll be right back with him. I'm sure he'd be honored."

A moment later Lukas was dragged over. When his uncle grabbed his arm, he seemed to freak out a bit, and I was sure I saw a wince.

"Hello again, sir." The owner wandered off to deal with some other customer, as Lukas greeted me.

"Hello," I replied," I'd like two cups of coffee."

"Two? That's a bit much for one person, at least all at once." I responded with a goofy smile. He left and came back with two coffees. "There, satisfied?"

"Actually I'd like you to sit down. You can't ignore me, so you might as well!" I urged, gesturing to the seat across from me. He sat and crossed his arms.

"Fine, but I'm blaming you if I get in trouble."

"Wouldn't be blaming if it is my fault."

"What do you want. Try not to waste a lot of my time at least." I nodded.

"Right. I just wanted to talk to you. You're normally avoiding everyone. But there is something about you that bugs me. And I don't mean that you bother me. Something surrounding you bothers me. You don't have to talk to me, not right now. But you can feel free to anytime. I see something is wrong. I see it in lots of people. And trust me it's easier to see when you've been through something similar yourself. Maybe one day I'll tell you."

"You want to make my life a living hell? Well, do you? Because you shouldn't be sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. There is no reason for you to help me. You can't help me. Now, stop requesting me!" Lukas stood and walked off down a back hallway.

((()))

I sighed feeling defeated, paid, and left that day. I couldn't stop as much as I tried. As many people as I had helped, it ate at me that he didn't want help. When I told Tino, he said that I was heading somewhere dangerous, and unless he showed signs soon of opening up, I should get out of there. I agreed with him, after all I helped people to feel good about life. Not pull myself into another slump.

It took so long for me to get him to open up. But the day came when he looked on the verge of tears, his uncle shamelessly screaming at him. I couldn't take it, seeing his broken heart shatter even more, and scatter on the floor. It was too much.

I puffed out my chest and straightened my tie. I went to correct hia uncle and I wanted to punch hin so bad. I kept my voice soft but harsh in its echo. When I was finished I glanced to Lukas, who looked... his dace was indescribable. A mix of emotions that couldn't be explained.

He cane over to serve me, after I had coreected his uncle, and he smiled. He smiled for only a moment, but it was a smile of gratitude. It was endearing. I knew the words that followed meant no ill will. When he started to open up, that started the beginning of the rest of my life.

((()))

 _P.S: I will always be grateful to you, dear. I know how long it's taken you to share your life with me. I'm so glad you came to that door. That you bothered me to no end. There is no-one else I would rather have shared the Beginning of the rest of my life with. I love you! ~Darling_

I held the birthday gift letter in my clutches for a long time. I'm glad I was rescued from my own despair and trauma. That way, Lukas had the chance to truly live. The journey was long, and sometimes it was arduous. But there was no other journey I would want to have taken. Now we shall share the end of the rest of our life together, nothing left to say but I love you. Because we both know what we've been through. We both know what we mean to each other. More importantly, we both lived a real grim fairytale together, except we rescued it together from the cruel author and gave it a happy ending. One where no one has to scream out, "Rescue me!", but one where everyone can say they had already been rescued. And that was the only thing they'd ever need.

A/n: Hello, cupcakes! So, I was told when Rescue Me finished that I should write a prequel type thing explaining Mathias's motivation and what his life had been like before Lukas. I thought of this all in one day, so hopefully it's sufficient. I know it's really short, but I didn't imagine it being too long to begin with, and all events in his life were explained here without going to far back. I hope the shift of perspective isn't too jarring, and I hope you enjoyed. See you sometime soon, and thank you for reading. :3 ~Hetaliancupcake


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